Calm in the Chaos

Everyday for the past 2 weeks has seemed to be full of one thing or another. It just seems like everything i want to do I don't get to do when I want to do it. I almost feel like a little girl again, you know when you have to do chores instead of playing outside like everyone else. However I think God knows when we just need a BREAK! and I think I am getting it this week. Like right now it is barely 9pm, and we have been in bed since 7:30! I know I'm not sleeping but Sam is and I am finally getting to catch up on this blog.  I have so many thing I tell myself I will put in here, and even document, but they just never seem to make it here. One day I promise i will catch up.... I am grateful that I have this time right now to think about things and not stress about them. I have been earnestly praying to God to just feel relief, relief from all the burdens I take up that are not mine to have and to give them over to him. It is a daily battle my friends but one that is not lost in the end, and because of that I can sleep easy.



Now something I just realized i L-O-V-E , well to be fair a few things that I love:

Laying next to my wonderful husband while he sleeps and every now and then he snaps back and puts his arm around me or sleep talks.

Catching on Tyler and Katy Reeds blog... gosh i can't wait for their precious little baby!

gunna have a baby!

eatting a well cooked dinner all alone every now and then, weird I know.

seeing Sam smile when he is almost about to fall asleep but i jump on him and hug him.


life is good and it takes some little things sometimes to remind me just how good i have it. Even if i don't have time for all the things I want to do, I am so so so so happy.

Working out what God works in

. . . work out your own salvation . . . for it is God who works in you . . . —Philippians 2:12-13

Your will agrees with God, but in your flesh there is a nature that renders you powerless to do what you know you ought to do. When the Lord initially comes in contact with our conscience, the first thing our conscience does is awaken our will, and our will always agrees with God. Yet you say, “But I don’t know if my will is in agreement with God.” Look to Jesus and you will find that your will and your conscience are in agreement with Him every time. What causes you to say “I will not obey” is something less deep and penetrating than your will. It is perversity or stubbornness, and they are never in agreement with God. The most profound thing in a person is his will, not sin.

The will is the essential element in God’s creation of human beings— sin is a perverse nature which entered into people. In someone who has been born again, the source of the will is Almighty God. “. . . for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” With focused attention and great care, you have to “work out” what God “works in” you— not work to accomplish or earn “your own salvation,” but work it out so you will exhibit the evidence of a life based with determined, unshakable faith on the complete and perfect redemption of the Lord. As you do this, you do not bring an opposing will up against God’s will— God’s will is your will. Your natural choices will be in accordance with God’s will, and living this life will be as natural as breathing. Stubbornness is an unintelligent barrier, refusing enlightenment and blocking its flow. The only thing to do with this barrier of stubbornness is to blow it up with “dynamite,” and the “dynamite” is obedience to the Holy Spirit.

Do I believe that Almighty God is the Source of my will? God not only expects me to do His will, but He is in me to do it.

(stolen from Oswald Chambers)

I really enjoyed this and really needed this today...I sometimes turn into a doubting Thomas and get so stressed and confused about what I need to do. Or i stress if I'm doing the right things, hanging out with the "right" people, going to the "right" church.... I could go on. This reminds me that if I am in line with my maker then life is good... it's as easy as breathing. God you are so faithful to me you are the straight and narrow when I am so lost. Thank you thank you! Today I rejoice because even if I have a million and one things happening inside my mind right now I know God has a will to be done in me.

Romance

About a month ago I had told Sam some ideas on how to surprise me and what would be some idea of  something nice he could do for me....Sometimes he needs some help understanding these things. One idea I had told him was that he could surprise me and make me dinner one night. Well one thing about Sam is that he isn't very good at surprises. It's so cute. The morning before he was planning to make me dinner he panics and tells me he was planning on making me dinner as a surprise. I laughed and said, "you aren't supposed to tell me" then he said, "well i don't know how and I wanted to make sure you won't be home!" Then I had to try and make sure I wasn't home before him so he could "surprise me" I didn't do a good job of this because I came home right when he got home from the store... then we ended up making dinner together. It was more of me coaching him through making it all. It was really fun and new. 

I just love his effort and that he thought to do this for me. Dinner turned out really really good and we finished the night just being together. It was perfect so so perfect

such good Kabobs

mmm

professional salad maker

the mood

coolest bottle of sparkeling wine



kabobs,broc,potatoes,brown rice, salad,wine and a sexy sexy man!

I'm so Blessed,

-M



Joshua Memory

Today makes it 8 months that Sam and I have been married. It's funny because we usually forget about the 2nd of every month and still celebrate on the 23rd. For those of you that don't know about Sam and Monica's "23rd special day", it is the date that Sam and I first started dating three years ago. Three years seems like 20 years, I feel like I have known him my whole life. I honestly don't know how life would be had we not meet in a building on top of a mountain almost 4 years ago (Joshua any one?) God has made us for one another we are each others other half. I'm proud to be his wife and I'm so so so so so (so like 987987398375984 times) blessed to be in love with him. We have hard times and we get frustrated, because hello being married isn't always easy, we have to work through the not so happy baggage that him and I brought into this relationship, but I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else. God has truly made Sam for me, He knows that I need someone that will cuddle me every morning, someone who will tell me I look pretty when I am overwhelmingly self conscious and someone who will push me to be a better woman and not just give me all the nice answers but push me towards the cross and being like Christ. Tonight we celebrate by reading the rest of Harry Potter 4 (nerd alert!) and just being together (that's all the details you people need...wink wink)

I am in love,

-M