Finances

I probably have posted about money issues or worries before, so this is not a new story. The story is different however because I really really have a different outlook on how life is destined.

It's kind of weird how I realized how I view my financial worries, questions, thoughts differently. I happened to be in a disagreement with Sam (not an argument but more of a adult like conversation that we didn't seem to agree on) about some things we have to pay for next year. I haven't ever really been worried about money, or a pay check. This is because God has provided ALWAYS when I have needed it most and when I didn't know I needed it. Lately however I have been worrying more and more, and let me just say I really prefer the non-worrier Monica. I got really sad though. I got sad at the fact that I was helpless with some of these things. There is legitimately nothing I can do to change certain situations. I can't be more helpful than I am already being I have reached my human capability. At first I was a little worried about this, about the fact that I can do nothing. Then, today when that whole adult conversation thing happened, I realized I am in such a good place. I am desperate (desperate is a little dramatic but I love the word when it refers to needing the Lord) for my God. I am needing Him and He is showing me that I do. I like that I now enjoy these times when God brings me back to Him. 

Ok sorry I got off on a little rabbit trail again. After I got sad about being a worrier about finances I got really happy at the fact that I know that God is in control. I was happy, and still am, that God knows more than me.

 Money is really annoying and it is something that just doesn't go away. 

God, thank you that you are in control of whatever happens with my money, life, friendships, and everything else and in the end I have you.

-M

LA Christmas

This year was a new kind of Christmas for me (and even more so for Sam). We spent actual Christmas eve/day with my family in Laguna Nigel. For those of you that don't know where that is, think Laguna beach and then travel a few miles from there. It was really nice in LA, the weather was prefect. Too bad we didn't spend any of our time at the beach : (

My mom and step dad Ruben showed us some really beautiful places and we got to do a lot of things here. It just didn't seem like Christmas. I'm used to everyone being together, and being at home all day long cooking or watching a game. Now that my family has moved to southern California it was very different. We were gone all day (because you have to drive every where!) shopping or eating. Don't get me wrong I had a good time, I just wish we would have had more time together. My sister didn't even get to LA until after 4 on Christmas eve. Then we spent the rest of the time shopping. The events were just exhausting. The only thing that really didn't change was all the sister and brother fighting (just like the old days). I get annoyed by my family but now that that all the rest of the family (i.e aunts, uncles, cousins...) is far away I really missed it. I missed everyone coming over to my parents and just hanging out. 

We did do something very very very new this year, and we will never do it again.... Disneyland! I did not know that some many people wanted to go to this place on Christmas day. It was a zoo! And really fun. They even had snow! Snow people! In Disneyland. That was really exciting. I would have to say all and all it was a good holiday. Would I have changed things about it? Yea. For instance my mom made tamales and did I even eat one? NO! So sad. I hope everyone enjoyed their families and friends this Christmas. Now it's time to look forward to New years.

Pre christmas boy hang out.

Pre Christmas Girl hang out.

Hello at the beach and I'm not freezing. This is LA Christmas.

Sams' Breakfast

My Lunch (reason for no tamales eaten)

Christmas breakfast (also the reason why no tamales were eaten)

Rides

Front row of tower of terror. This ride makes me throw up.

The best people ever.

Disneyland.

Merry Christmas!

Japanese Christmas

First ever Sushi Christmas dinner with all the Nowlins (and some additional lovers). It was such a blast and somewhat out of some peoples elements. We definitely learned what to do for next time, new knives that will actually cut the rolls will be the first thing i do. Some of us just gave up on trying to cut the rolls and ended up with sushi burritos. Which are just as tasty. Also I had WAY too many options for everyone, but that's not really a bad thing. I love our little booth diner style table, but we really do need more space for these kinds of parties. We were all very cozy at our table and it reminds me of times when i was a little kid and had to crawl under the table to get out. That didn't happen but at times I thought Dave was going to be found crawling under there. We had such a good time though and got to experience some new foods with each other. I perfected sushi rice and I'm pretty proud of that!

We are really going to miss the Nowlin family this Christmas, but I am so excited to see my family this weekend. They have new dogs that i get to meet and play with, and Tamales!!! One of the best things of earth and hand made by my mom, can't get any better than that.

we all wish out sushi looked this good last night

Cute tree

Our tree is up. It has been for a week (sorry) I love waking up to our tree light up. It makes me so happy. I never knew that a tree sitting in my living room could bring me joy!

if anyone wants to buy me a new camera that takes actual GOOD pictures, that would be great!

We love our tree and You.

-M

What next?

Some happy news, 

FINALS ARE OVER!!!!!! 

good riddance hardest semester of my life.

Gosh life is going to be so much more interesting, now that i am not spending all my time going back and forth to school. Now i get to focus on Christmas and friends and life in general. this semester was really the "last" semester where I could just float along. This meaning- floating along not having to choose what direction of schooling I want to take. I had to make some real life decisions for next semester. One was listening to Sam and only taking 2 classes, even though it KILLS ME! Because I want to be done so bad. We realized though that I'm not doing so well with trying to balance a full load of classes, being married, working full time, and having a life. Too many break downs occurred and too many missing unfinished assignment too. The next step was to see a councilor to choose what those two classes should be. He wasn't very helpful but I think I know what i want to do! Which is so much closer than i was a year ago. 

School is not really something I'm good at, but I'm going to try.I'm learning that knowledge really is power. I just want to know about lots of things so it's rather difficult. good thing I have a life time to figure this stuff out. 

Tree hunters

I got to do one of my all time favorite things today! Pick out our Christmas tree!!!!!

 With people i love to boot. 

We went up to Ano Nuevo today to hunt for our trees, but it was really slim pickings. All the trees were not up to par and there were just a lot of people. I random little boy ran up to our table and stole some of our cheese. The picnic was fun and yummy but we were on a mission to get our perfect tree.

picnic lady

the spread

yay

She really likes to party

they are trying to read the map

he needed to saw something to feel better

success

 So we left there and decided to go to a lot in Bonny Doon. Bonny Doon was WAY better. The trees would were so cute and perfect. We found the most perfect tree.

 next post will be our perfect, cute, little tree all decorated.

Love, M

Catching up with myself.

I have so much caching up to do. Sadly this won't be the post that brings everyone up to speed. I do want to share somethings that I've been reflecting on.

Through all the stress, school work, relationships, decisions, financial woes, and everything else that has been attacking me lately I am seriously very very happy. I am so over joyed even at this very moment. I love when I can reflect on life and after approaching all these things and mulling them over for a while I ultimately end up feeling thankful and happy. I have a lot that can really bring me down but for some reason I just don't care.

I was thinking back on this year, and taking note of all the ups and downs that have occurred. Through it all God has truly shown himself to me. I feel like I now know what it truly feels like to trust in God. Struggles still come and go but ultimately if I really think back on how I have grown spiritually this year it would be that I trust God! I trust him with everything. I know I can't do anything with out him. I have goosebumps just writing about it and a overwhelming feeling of peace. 

I never want to be in control because when I am it's so stressful. Personally I don't want to feel stressed out all the time. One silly realization I had this year, in regards to stress, was when my face broke out really really bad. I am person who seldom gets zits, so this was the worst! I was trying to think about what I was doing to cause this to happen. Which in turn stressed me out more! Finally I realized I was so stressed on the inside that it was showing physically on the outside. Right then and there I got down on my knees a prayed for the burdens I was trying to carry. Did my acne clear up... NO. However my heart felt free. I felt like everything was going to be ok. I try to remember that time and remember the tremendous amount of stress I was under and pray that I don't allow myself to get there. I am defintly a worrier and a stress ball so it is easy for me to get back to that place.

Recently I got to sit in on a "No boys allowed" session at TLC, lead by the AMAZING Chelsea Fenwick. She was teaching these high school girls what it means to have freedom and value in Christ. Wow! Wow is all i could think when i was there. I wish i had had a better grasp of this when I was in high school. This is something I struggle with to this day, the remembering of my value in Christ Jesus who died for me. WOW WOW WOW. it truly is a concept that makes me feel warm inside. Someone loves me, someone loves me so much to die for me. That sounds a bit dramatic and I don't want people to prove there love for me by dying for me, but the fact that Jesus would is..... I can't even think of a word for it. Finding my value in him sounds so easy, but I feel like I am just scratching the surface. 

There is so much more but I limited my time on here so that I can go back to studying. I leave feeling thankful. Even for the real bummers that have happened this year and are still continuing to happen. I leave with my shoulders feeling lighter and with a heart that is full.