Calm in the Chaos

Everyday for the past 2 weeks has seemed to be full of one thing or another. It just seems like everything i want to do I don't get to do when I want to do it. I almost feel like a little girl again, you know when you have to do chores instead of playing outside like everyone else. However I think God knows when we just need a BREAK! and I think I am getting it this week. Like right now it is barely 9pm, and we have been in bed since 7:30! I know I'm not sleeping but Sam is and I am finally getting to catch up on this blog.  I have so many thing I tell myself I will put in here, and even document, but they just never seem to make it here. One day I promise i will catch up.... I am grateful that I have this time right now to think about things and not stress about them. I have been earnestly praying to God to just feel relief, relief from all the burdens I take up that are not mine to have and to give them over to him. It is a daily battle my friends but one that is not lost in the end, and because of that I can sleep easy.



Now something I just realized i L-O-V-E , well to be fair a few things that I love:

Laying next to my wonderful husband while he sleeps and every now and then he snaps back and puts his arm around me or sleep talks.

Catching on Tyler and Katy Reeds blog... gosh i can't wait for their precious little baby!

gunna have a baby!

eatting a well cooked dinner all alone every now and then, weird I know.

seeing Sam smile when he is almost about to fall asleep but i jump on him and hug him.


life is good and it takes some little things sometimes to remind me just how good i have it. Even if i don't have time for all the things I want to do, I am so so so so happy.

Working out what God works in

. . . work out your own salvation . . . for it is God who works in you . . . —Philippians 2:12-13

Your will agrees with God, but in your flesh there is a nature that renders you powerless to do what you know you ought to do. When the Lord initially comes in contact with our conscience, the first thing our conscience does is awaken our will, and our will always agrees with God. Yet you say, “But I don’t know if my will is in agreement with God.” Look to Jesus and you will find that your will and your conscience are in agreement with Him every time. What causes you to say “I will not obey” is something less deep and penetrating than your will. It is perversity or stubbornness, and they are never in agreement with God. The most profound thing in a person is his will, not sin.

The will is the essential element in God’s creation of human beings— sin is a perverse nature which entered into people. In someone who has been born again, the source of the will is Almighty God. “. . . for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” With focused attention and great care, you have to “work out” what God “works in” you— not work to accomplish or earn “your own salvation,” but work it out so you will exhibit the evidence of a life based with determined, unshakable faith on the complete and perfect redemption of the Lord. As you do this, you do not bring an opposing will up against God’s will— God’s will is your will. Your natural choices will be in accordance with God’s will, and living this life will be as natural as breathing. Stubbornness is an unintelligent barrier, refusing enlightenment and blocking its flow. The only thing to do with this barrier of stubbornness is to blow it up with “dynamite,” and the “dynamite” is obedience to the Holy Spirit.

Do I believe that Almighty God is the Source of my will? God not only expects me to do His will, but He is in me to do it.

(stolen from Oswald Chambers)

I really enjoyed this and really needed this today...I sometimes turn into a doubting Thomas and get so stressed and confused about what I need to do. Or i stress if I'm doing the right things, hanging out with the "right" people, going to the "right" church.... I could go on. This reminds me that if I am in line with my maker then life is good... it's as easy as breathing. God you are so faithful to me you are the straight and narrow when I am so lost. Thank you thank you! Today I rejoice because even if I have a million and one things happening inside my mind right now I know God has a will to be done in me.

Romance

About a month ago I had told Sam some ideas on how to surprise me and what would be some idea of  something nice he could do for me....Sometimes he needs some help understanding these things. One idea I had told him was that he could surprise me and make me dinner one night. Well one thing about Sam is that he isn't very good at surprises. It's so cute. The morning before he was planning to make me dinner he panics and tells me he was planning on making me dinner as a surprise. I laughed and said, "you aren't supposed to tell me" then he said, "well i don't know how and I wanted to make sure you won't be home!" Then I had to try and make sure I wasn't home before him so he could "surprise me" I didn't do a good job of this because I came home right when he got home from the store... then we ended up making dinner together. It was more of me coaching him through making it all. It was really fun and new. 

I just love his effort and that he thought to do this for me. Dinner turned out really really good and we finished the night just being together. It was perfect so so perfect

such good Kabobs

mmm

professional salad maker

the mood

coolest bottle of sparkeling wine



kabobs,broc,potatoes,brown rice, salad,wine and a sexy sexy man!

I'm so Blessed,

-M



Joshua Memory

Today makes it 8 months that Sam and I have been married. It's funny because we usually forget about the 2nd of every month and still celebrate on the 23rd. For those of you that don't know about Sam and Monica's "23rd special day", it is the date that Sam and I first started dating three years ago. Three years seems like 20 years, I feel like I have known him my whole life. I honestly don't know how life would be had we not meet in a building on top of a mountain almost 4 years ago (Joshua any one?) God has made us for one another we are each others other half. I'm proud to be his wife and I'm so so so so so (so like 987987398375984 times) blessed to be in love with him. We have hard times and we get frustrated, because hello being married isn't always easy, we have to work through the not so happy baggage that him and I brought into this relationship, but I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else. God has truly made Sam for me, He knows that I need someone that will cuddle me every morning, someone who will tell me I look pretty when I am overwhelmingly self conscious and someone who will push me to be a better woman and not just give me all the nice answers but push me towards the cross and being like Christ. Tonight we celebrate by reading the rest of Harry Potter 4 (nerd alert!) and just being together (that's all the details you people need...wink wink)

I am in love,

-M

Memorial Weekend and relizations

Oh wow, I had a great long weekend. I have a lot to talk about so excuse me if some of this seems random, everything was really fun but it seems like on big blur for some reason.

The private road

 I got off work Thursday around 6 and went to our friends Matt and Ryan's house to make dinner. I made a pasta dish I had never made before, and it turned out pretty stinkin good! I was very proud of myself. Ryan introduced us to the show "Life with Earl" it is really funny, a bit inappropriate, but still funny. Friday was just as fun, we went on a motorcycle ride with our good friends Nich and Rebekkah. We have done this a few times with them and Sam had mapped out a little ride for us, but little did we know that google maps takes you to weird places. The map took us to this private dirt road that was crazy....bumpy...dusty... and very very long. It felt like we were at Hume lake on a really long and high fire road. The views were worth all the bumps and shaking baby syndrome we experienced. Once we came down from that crazy land we were starving and also HAD TO get to the O'Neill sale. Of course I got nachos at the Mexican place we went to: Realization Number 1: Nachos give me the worst stomach ache ever...and the worst gas (TMI?) At the sale mighty power rangers were saling lemonade so of course we got some. But most importantly i finally got my own wetsuit. No more wearing Seth's old ones that have holes in them...yay. We finally ventured home and took a nap, the funny thing is that Sam is very bad at taking naps but we both just crashed for 3 or 4 hours; it was so nice and cozy. The rest of the night we spent with each other riding bikes to verve coffee then to pleasure point. Then ended the night with sometime in our Harry Potter book.




The Inciters

Saturday we such a lazy relaxing day Sam went surfing in the morning and I decided it was time for me to get off my butt and get some exercise, so I went for a really really long run. The weather was so perfect and my body seemed to just want to keep running. To end a perfect run and surf session we had waffles mmmmmm. Then we just hung out with one another. That is the thing I loved most about this long weekend, Sam and I got to spend so much time with one another the kind of time we always want to have with one another. Later that night Sam had to go to work : ( and I went to go see our friends band The Inciters (check these people out they are sooooo good!) Of course the night ended with cuddling. The next morning we slept in very late, this was a real treat because for some reason we wake up at 8 every morning, but not this day! Realization 2: We need more rest we are usually trying to get too many things done during our rest time...we practiced slowing everything down. Sam surfed again and I did a project for the house. I have been painting everything we have because everything just seems out of sorts to me. I love seeing our little home come together one painted piece of furniture and hang of art at a time. The weather was so nice too it was just a good time being in the sun all by myself just painting a chair... now i think i know why people like to paint (though I am far from a painter or artist) I see how it can be therapeutic. We did some people watching at sunny cove and then it just so happened a bunch of our friends wanted to get together. The decision was made that we would do another "squeeze in" at the shmee shack. Dinner and drink at the Nowlins; the menu baked manicati, bread, salad, broccoli and asparagus. It was too much fun it's always interesting when everyone gets together in our place, it's pretty tiny and we usually end up segregated girls in the kitchen at the booth table, and boys in the living with all the comfy seats. It was nice to hear from a lot of our friends how much our home has changed, we don't notice as much any more because we live in it everyday but some people had not been here since we actually got furniture. Realization 3: I love our friends.

Ok now for Memorial day, Sam and I were woken up by Kyle Pitchford and Per ( kyle who i thought wasn't going to be able to leave out house the night before but i guess he did ) Then he and Seth went surfing. Sam loves Seth so much so it's so cute when they get together (it's cute to me but probably not to them)





Matt and Ryan



Then I finished up my chair project and we headed off to Matt and Ryan's again for a memorial day BBQ with all the friends again. Realization 4: Sam should not sit directly in the sun for 4 hours. We met some new friends that traveled from New York and that was neat too. Realization 5: I am too mean sometimes... and not in a "mean" way but in a judging way and I do not like it! Sam did a very good job telling me this in a loving kind way. I can't change everyone of my friends to make good decisions (well what Monica thinks are good decisions) they have to want those things for themselves. So after this very enlightening tip from my husband I am taking a new approach. After all the grub and friend time we headed over to the other Nowlins and had some more food and hang out time with them. It felt like we had not seen them forever so it was really nice to catch up and laugh with them. Realization 6: I have really really awesome in-laws, I'm so lucky! and this was our very long very nice weekend give and take a few memories.

girl time

Sam roasting in the sun

love

-M