Catching up with myself.

I have so much caching up to do. Sadly this won't be the post that brings everyone up to speed. I do want to share somethings that I've been reflecting on.

Through all the stress, school work, relationships, decisions, financial woes, and everything else that has been attacking me lately I am seriously very very happy. I am so over joyed even at this very moment. I love when I can reflect on life and after approaching all these things and mulling them over for a while I ultimately end up feeling thankful and happy. I have a lot that can really bring me down but for some reason I just don't care.

I was thinking back on this year, and taking note of all the ups and downs that have occurred. Through it all God has truly shown himself to me. I feel like I now know what it truly feels like to trust in God. Struggles still come and go but ultimately if I really think back on how I have grown spiritually this year it would be that I trust God! I trust him with everything. I know I can't do anything with out him. I have goosebumps just writing about it and a overwhelming feeling of peace. 

I never want to be in control because when I am it's so stressful. Personally I don't want to feel stressed out all the time. One silly realization I had this year, in regards to stress, was when my face broke out really really bad. I am person who seldom gets zits, so this was the worst! I was trying to think about what I was doing to cause this to happen. Which in turn stressed me out more! Finally I realized I was so stressed on the inside that it was showing physically on the outside. Right then and there I got down on my knees a prayed for the burdens I was trying to carry. Did my acne clear up... NO. However my heart felt free. I felt like everything was going to be ok. I try to remember that time and remember the tremendous amount of stress I was under and pray that I don't allow myself to get there. I am defintly a worrier and a stress ball so it is easy for me to get back to that place.

Recently I got to sit in on a "No boys allowed" session at TLC, lead by the AMAZING Chelsea Fenwick. She was teaching these high school girls what it means to have freedom and value in Christ. Wow! Wow is all i could think when i was there. I wish i had had a better grasp of this when I was in high school. This is something I struggle with to this day, the remembering of my value in Christ Jesus who died for me. WOW WOW WOW. it truly is a concept that makes me feel warm inside. Someone loves me, someone loves me so much to die for me. That sounds a bit dramatic and I don't want people to prove there love for me by dying for me, but the fact that Jesus would is..... I can't even think of a word for it. Finding my value in him sounds so easy, but I feel like I am just scratching the surface. 

There is so much more but I limited my time on here so that I can go back to studying. I leave feeling thankful. Even for the real bummers that have happened this year and are still continuing to happen. I leave with my shoulders feeling lighter and with a heart that is full.